Closet Doors
by Elileo
Summary: Slightly AU, before Boo. Flashbacks and memories from a troublesome childhood haunts Randall. And who is the (un)lucky monster to run into him at the worst of times? No other than his number one rival.


Randall heard himself sigh, pushing the door to the screaming floor open.  
Soundlessly he crept his way over the concrete floor, stopping when he reached his desk and started looking through some paperwork. Fungus had managed to forget about it, and nearly flipped out when Randall asked if he gave the papers to Ross before the office closed. The guy had looked like he was about to faint while stuttering his usual excuses, and he had to stop himself from smacking the assistant over the head in a furious outburst. Unlike himself, he bit back the harsh words and went to get it done on his own. He caught the look of surprise from the shuddering form beneath him, but turned without giving any explanation, muttering under his breath.

He didn't get why he was so extremely jumpy and constantly frightened. Sure, Randall was harsh towards his assistant, but he wasn't that intimidating? Right..? He heard himself sigh again, and pushed the thoughts aside. Since when did he start caring anyway… at least these forms were already filled out by the doofus, and Randall only needed to slip them over the desk to satisfy the old slug on the other side.

As he turned to leave, he caught sight of a door in one of the stations further down the hall. His eyes widened slightly, and he stood frozen in place for a moment or two. Did someone forget to send it back to the storage? With a natural speed few other monsters could match, the lizard went over, his curiosity getting the better of him. He stopped in is tracks just before the yellow circle of light surrounding the door and glanced upwards. Even with his bad sight, he could tell the door was inactive. He looked around, but couldn't see anyone in the darkness surrounding him. Tired as he was, preoccupied with the thought of getting home after a stressful day, he shrugged and reached for the eject-button. But something stopped the monster pressing it down as he looked one last time at the door in front of him. His eyes widened in realization as he inspected it further, the worn surface of the wood scattered with small scratches. The door was white and nothing out of the ordinary, except for the blue linings of the frame. Randall drew back his hand, as if he just burned himself, and took a step backwards. His expression went from the usual suspicious scowl to a look of realization. This door was way too familiar for his liking, it looked exactly the same as the one he remembered! But it couldn't be, it was just a coincidence, no one would pull a sick joke like this! Besides, no one knew anything of his past. He made sure of that!

He felt his heart racing, and his mind was flooded with memories as he tumbled backwards and leaned heavily to a nearby desk. The purple monster was slightly shaking, wishing for the door to instantly vanish. He was sure if he went over there again to get rid of it, the door would open and reveal what he feared was on the other side. He shook his head, annoyed with the stupid thoughts and the long lost fear that clouded his mind. It was stupid, of course there wouldn't be anything on the other side! The door was inactive, and even if it wasn't, he would just have run into some random kids bedroom. This fear was as irrational as it was intense, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't get rid of the memories. Of his own closet door. The door he had spent hours staring at, afraid that he would finally be found and dragged out of his only hiding place. Thankfully that never happened. He had finally found a place he was left alone.

No matter how much he suppressed the memories and pretended nothing ever happened, this was one of the few things he still brought with him. The safety behind the closet door. Knowing nothing would hurt him if he didn't enter. Knowing that, as fast as he went back through the closet door, he would be safe. No child could touch him with its poisonous fingers; no monster could hit him with their forceful hands.

Randall rested his head in his palms, unable to stop the painful rush of memories and flashbacks that were hitting him with full force. The stream of light from underneath the door, disturbing the comforting darkness. The loud voices from the outside, the screaming and the yelling. Sounds of various items hitting the floor, glass shattering and thump noises. The occasional whimper that only made him retreat further into the dark, blending in with the shadows and the pattern of the wall behind him. And the worst of it all, the killing silence as an aftermath. The insecurity, the fear of what might await on the other side of the white, battered door. What might happen if he opened it, and what might happen if he stayed in there for the night.

The lullaby and bed-stories had never been a constant part of the everyday routine, but neither had the required eight hours of sleep. More than once did he rush through the house to catch the bus, stumbling over sleeping forms on the floor, starving from the lack of food. Breakfast was never an option anyway, and dinner hardly happened.

He went to sleep in the closet more often than in his own bed, and still preferred to sleep on the couch in his own home. Even in college he wasn't comfortable with sleeping in a regular bed.  
But neither of the imagined scenarios played out, and he was grateful for that. Just another irregular fear of his…

Randall finally eased down, inhaling air in ragged breaths. Shaking his head furiously, he ran over to the door and pressed the button in a quick movement. He watched as the door disappeared in the distance, letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. The light automatically went out, and left the lizard in darkness.

He felt strangely empty as he stood there, trying to sort out what just happened. A shudder went down his spine and a terrible sadness overwhelmed him. The old pain from scars that never fully healed struck him with a force he would never have imagined, and soon he felt his vision blurry even more than usual. He didn't even realize that he was crying until he wiped away a tear with one of his four arms. He flinched as the wet substance touched his skin, and tried to remember the last time he cried. It didn't occur to him, so he guessed it was a long time ago. He angrily wiped the rest of the wet substance off his face, and turned to leave. No way in hell somebody would spot him like this, crying by the sight of a door! He hated himself for being so weak, but yet… he couldn't get rid of the past that caught him by surprise. He though he had it under control! That the memories were buried so deep down they wouldn't ever reach the surface. But he was wrong.

Happily realizing that most monsters had went home for the day, Randall reached for the door. Out of a sudden, a large shadow blocked the light of the semi-transparent window, and the door flew open, revealing a big, blue-furred monster. Randall jumped backwards, and clenched his fists as he hissed; "Sullivan!"

Said monster looked down on the scaly creature in front of him, taken aback by the unexpected appearance: "Randall?" He stood frozen in is tracks, surprise plastered across his face; "Haven't you gone home yet..?" The question was innocent, and the wonder authentic, but Randall did nothing but hiss at him with narrowed eyes, and crept trough the frame in an instant.

Sulley could do nothing but stare in shock as the Randall seemingly disappeared in thin air as he headed down the corridor. Was it just him… or was there really tears visible in the lizard's eyes just now? But Randall didn't cry… did he?


End file.
